Calling all married couples navigating the wild adventure of life together! Let’s have a heart-to-heart about something that’s just as important as finding the perfect sippy cup or mastering the art of sneaking veggies into dinner—keeping that spark alive in your marriage. We all know that between diaper changes, sleepless nights, and juggling a million responsibilities, sometimes our relationships can feel like they’re running on autopilot. So today, we’re going to talk about how to keep your marriage strong, even when life gets as messy as a toddler’s art project.

Now, I’m not claiming to be some sort of marriage guru (trust me, my husband and I have our fair share of “Did you seriously leave your socks on the floor again?” moments). But over the years, I’ve picked up a few tricks that have helped us stay connected, even when we’re knee-deep in parenting chaos. So grab your favorite beverage (coffee, wine, or heck, even that cold tea you forgot to drink this morning), and let’s chat about nurturing your relationship while still being the awesome parents you are!

Rules For A Successful Marriage

Okay, here’s the deal: there are no hard and fast rules for a successful marriage. Yep, you heard that right! As my husband and I approach our ten-year milestone, we’ve realized that the secret sauce isn’t a set of rigid guidelines. Instead, it’s a daily commitment to choose each other, even when life gets chaotic.

Let’s be real. It’s ridiculously easy to get complacent when you’re juggling work deadlines, soccer practice, and trying to remember if you actually fed the dog this morning. But here’s the thing: a strong marriage doesn’t just happen on autopilot. It’s about making a conscious effort every single day to nurture your relationship, even if it’s just for a few minutes between diaper changes and conference calls. So, while I can’t give you a foolproof rulebook, I can share some marriage tips for couples that have helped us stay connected amidst the beautiful chaos of family life. Remember, it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present and putting in the effort, even on those days when you’d rather binge-watch Netflix than have a heart-to-heart. Trust me, your relationship (and your sanity) will thank you for it!

How To Keep Your Marriage Strong

Have Fun Together

Alright, lovebirds, let me tell you about the spontaneous little getaway my hubby and I just took. We literally looked at each other on a random Tuesday, booked a sitter, and hit the road for an overnight adventure. Was the house a mess when we left? Absolutely. Did we feel a twinge of guilt? Maybe for a hot second. But let me tell you, it was exactly what we needed! Here’s the thing: it’s way too easy to slip into “roommate” or “business partner” mode with your spouse, especially after those adorable little chaos-makers enter the picture.

But remember that couple who fell in love and couldn’t keep their hands off each other? Yeah, they’re still in there somewhere, probably hiding behind a mountain of laundry. So, here’s your mission: rediscover the fun! It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or an expensive trip. Maybe it’s having an impromptu dance party in the kitchen, purposely embarrassing your kids by acting goofy in Target, or diving into each other’s hobbies. The point is that laughter and shared experiences are like relationship superglue. They remind you why you chose this person to do life with in the first place. So go ahead, be silly, be spontaneous, and, for goodness’ sake, have some fun together!

Let Your Partner Do It Their Way

Ladies, let’s have a real talk moment. How many times have you watched your partner load the dishwasher and felt your eye start to twitch because they’re doing it “wrong”? Or maybe you’ve hovered anxiously as they dressed the kids, certain that a fashion disaster was imminent. I get it; I’ve been there too. As women, we often have this idea that there’s a “right” way to do things (usually our way), and anything else is just… well, wrong.

But here’s a truth bomb: letting go of that control can be incredibly freeing for both you and your relationship. Whether it’s parenting, cleaning, or managing the household, as long as the job is getting done correctly and you’re on the same page about the end goal, it’s okay to let your partner do things their way. Sure, their method of folding laundry might look like it was done by a tornado, but guess what? The clothes are still clean and put away. Their bedtime routine might involve more tickle fights than yours, but the kids are still getting to sleep. By stepping back and allowing your partner to find their own groove, you’re not just lightening your own load; you’re showing trust and respect for their capabilities. Plus, you might just discover that their way works better sometimes (but don’t tell them I said that)!

Remember, You’re On The Same Team

Here’s another tip that really works well: the next time you find yourself in a heated debate with your spouse over whose turn it is to tackle Mount Laundry or why someone forgot to buy milk (again), take a deep breath and remember this: you’re on the same team. It’s so easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, feeling like it’s you versus them in some cosmic battle of wills. But the truth is, you’re both fighting for the same things: a happy home, healthy kids, and a strong relationship. When you shift your perspective from “me against you” to “us against the problem,” it’s amazing how quickly those arguments can fizzle out. Suddenly, instead of competitors, you’re co-captains navigating this crazy ship called life together. So the next time you feel that argument brewing, pause and ask yourself, “How can we tackle this together?” Trust me, it’s a lot more fun (and effective) to be on the same side of the court. Plus, making up is always more enjoyable when you remember you’re allies, not adversaries!

Commit To Being Honest

Alright, let’s get real for a minute. After you’ve been hitched for a while, it’s tempting to start sweeping little annoyances under the rug. Maybe you’re tired of having the same argument about dirty socks on the floor, or you don’t want to rock the boat by mentioning that offhand comment that rubbed you the wrong way. And sure, sometimes it makes sense to pick your battles—no one wants to live in a constant state of conflict over every little thing.

But here’s the catch: those little things have a sneaky way of piling up and turning into bigger issues if we’re not careful. Whether it’s something as simple as feeling unappreciated for the daily grind or as complex as changes in your sexual intimacy, it’s crucial to have honest conversations about it. I know, I know—sometimes it feels easier to just Netflix and chill rather than dive into the deep stuff. But trust me, a little vulnerability can go a long way toward keeping your connection strong. So take a deep breath, maybe pour a glass of wine (or grab a pint of ice cream), and have that honest chat. Your relationship will be better for it, and hey, you might even discover some new ways to keep that spark alive!

Sleep On It

Okay, we’ve all heard that age-old marriage tip: “Never go to bed angry.” And sure, sometimes hashing things out before hitting the hay can work wonders. But let’s be real for a second. As a mom of five, I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to sleep on it. There have been nights when I’m so hangry or exhausted after a day of juggling kids, work, and life that I could pick a fight with a lamppost. In those moments, trying to resolve an argument might do more harm than good. Here’s a little secret: sometimes, by the time morning rolls around (and I’ve had my coffee), I realize I wasn’t even really upset to begin with. It was just exhaustion talking! So don’t be afraid to press pause on that heated discussion and get some shut-eye. A fresh perspective in the morning can work wonders, and you might find that what seemed like a big deal at midnight is actually no biggie in the light of day. Plus, let’s face it, everything looks better after a good night’s sleep and a strong cup of coffee!

What Is The Best Advice For Married Couples?

Here’s the real deal, lovebirds: as much as it’s amazing to get insight and advice from trusted friends, family, and mentors, the best advice I can give you is to never compare your marriage to anyone else’s. It’s tempting to look at that picture-perfect couple on Instagram or listen to your bestie gush about her husband and think, “Why isn’t my marriage like that?” But here’s the truth bomb: no two people or couples have ever walked the exact same path or faced the same challenges. Your marriage is as unique as your fingerprint, shaped by your individual personalities, experiences, and the crazy, beautiful life you’ve built together. What works for your neighbors might be a disaster for you, and that’s okay! Instead of trying to fit your relationship into someone else’s mold, focus on what makes your partnership special. Celebrate your quirks, inside jokes, and the unique way you navigate life together. Remember, the grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greenest where you water it. So keep nurturing your own unique brand of marital bliss, and let everyone else do their own thing!

Is Marriage Counseling Worth It?

Let’s chat about the elephant in the room—marriage counseling. It’s funny how there’s this weird stigma around couples therapy, isn’t it? But here’s a thought: if you get a nasty cough, you don’t wait until you’ve got full-blown bronchitis to see a doctor, right? You go when those first sniffles hit, making it way easier to nip that cold in the bud. Well, marriage counseling is just like that! It’s not a last-ditch effort for broken relationships or a sign that you’ve failed at marriage. Nope, it’s more like a tune-up for your relationship—a chance to oil the gears and make sure everything’s running smoothly. Maybe you just need some tools to communicate better, or perhaps you want to work through a rough patch before it becomes a mountain. Whatever the reason, seeing a counselor doesn’t mean your marriage is on life support; it means you’re proactively investing in your relationship. It’s like going to the gym for your marriage, flexing those communication muscles and strengthening your bond. So if you’re thinking about it, go for it!

Alright, my amazing couples, we’ve covered a lot of ground here, from spontaneous adventures to honest conversations and even the benefits of a good night’s sleep (hallelujah!). Remember, keeping your marriage strong isn’t about perfection; it’s about putting in the effort, choosing each other every day, and sometimes just laughing at the chaos together. Whether you’re newlyweds or celebrating your silver anniversary, every relationship has its ups and downs. The key is to ride those waves together, hand in hand, maybe with a little ice cream (or wine) to sweeten the journey. So go ahead and try out some of these tips. But most importantly, keep cultivating that unique brand of love that makes your marriage special. Embrace the silly moments, work through the tough ones, and never stop growing together. After all, a strong marriage isn’t built in a day; it’s crafted over a lifetime of shared experiences, inside jokes, and choosing to love each other, even when one of you forgets to replace the toilet paper roll (again). Here’s to you, your partner, and the beautiful adventure you’re on together!