There is no rule book when it comes to grief, even if you are grieving the death of a celebrity. On the surface it can seem sort of silly to grieve over someone that is technically a stranger but most times we connect with our favorite celebrities in a way that makes us feel like we know them. Speaking as a millennial, we grew up with up with Kobe Bryant… we grew up watching him become the legend that he is. So no, you didn’t know Kobe, but then again you did….

There is also an empathic sort of grieving… you know breaking down at the thought or site of someone else breaking down? I found myself in tears because of my husbands sadness. I was deeply sadden for Kobes wife Vanessa, as a wife who can’t fathom the thought of losing her husband. And even more so as a mother who can’t begin to process what it must be like to lose a child. The sheer thought of losing them both at once is too much to bare; it completely broke me. I know I’m not alone in this.

When it comes to the death of a celebrity, our feelings of loss and hurt are usually intensified by nonstop updates news, and the out poor of admiration across TV and social media. Even thought it feels like too much, it’s really hard to stop watching/reading. Truly, a lot of us are still waiting for the news to say it’s a mistake because denial. That and the fact that grieving can be a lonely process, so being able to share your grief with a social community makes you feel less alone. It really helps to know that we aren’t the only ones grieving and this time it’s like the whole word is grieving with us.

Anytime you find yourself grieving the death of a celebrity or a loved one, here are a few things to keep in mind:

There is no wrong way to grieve.

It’s okay to not be okay …and if you are okay, remember that you can’t tell anyone else when they should be. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. If you want to cry, scream or whatever… I say let it out. I’ve cried and prayed so many times today because outside of Kobe Bryant being who he was, this is really my worst nightmare as a wife and mother.

If you have lost a loved one recently, you may find celebrity deaths triggering. You will have have to be more protective of your peace on days like this. It’s okay to log off, stop watching the news and just take some time to process what you’re feeling. I personally prefer things that bring me laugher/joy at times of great sadness. I put on one of my favorite funny movies this evening, while I watched the kids go wild in all their silly glory.

Reminder to check on your friends and family that have lost someone close to them recently; today was likely more tough than you can imagine.

Take advantage of an opportunity to express yourself.

Make and Instagram post. Update your Facebook status. Hop on twitter. Write in your journal… or even your blog; however you choose to express your feelings, they are better out than in. (with respect in mind of course.) If you’re not comfortable with sharing your thoughts online and you have a therapist, it’s worth a conversation with them too.

**If at any point you feel like your grief is too much to carry or it begins to disrupt your daily life/routine, please seek professional help.

It’s so unfortunate that it takes a loss like this to remind us how short life is and how fragile humans are. A single instance changed multiple families, forever! Life is precious and we should truly cherish everyday moments, like making it home to your family, even more. Please spend more time on loving those closest to you, taking in the little small moments with family and friends …or making amends with family that you don’t particularly get along with. The only thing that can be heavier than grief is regret. If you have the opportunity to make something right, do it tonight because you never know when God will call you home.

Tonight I’m sending light and love to all of you. Please keep the families of all who were lost in your thoughts and prayers!